Like the rest of the Facebook world, I was plagued with being tagged countless times in the whole 25 things about me fad.
So I finally gave in and typed up 25 random facts about me… tagged those who had tagged me and then some.
A couple of hours later one of the people I had tagged relented and filled out her 25 things too… and it was then that I realized that unlike her 25th thing on her list, I am not sure if I will find my ‘someone’.
“25) Well, this is the 25th random thing about me, took me almost an hour to think about it and write it, sometimes with tears in my eyes; The 25th thing I want you to know is that I do believe I will find the love of my life even if I say otherwise... I believe that there is someone out there for each person... My true love will be out there somewhere but now I guess I am on the path to find him... since I haven't quite yet...”
I am not being pessimistic, I just don’t know, I used to think for sure that I will find that person. Don’t get me wrong, like nearly ever girl out there I want to settle down and I want to get married and have a family of my own. But at the same time I have confidence that if needed I could adopt and be a perfectly fine mother being single. I know it’s not an easy lifestyle, but that’s how I was raised and I don’t know any different.
This is something new for me, because I used to be the most optimistic person, thinking that I will find my Mr. Right and live happily ever after… So I don’t know if it was my last failed attempt at a relationship that turned me this way, if it was a dose of realism or if I am just tired of getting my hopes up. I would love to find that special someone because being the single one gets tiresome and lonely… especially at family gatherings. At my grandmother’s funeral on Monday I truly felt ALONE, because my mother didn’t sit with the family and all my cousins have families of their own or their parents and now my brother has a family of his own and sometimes it feels as if I have fallen between the cracks, overlooked.
Everyone says that there is a special someone out there for EVERYONE… but how do I know that I haven’t already had that chance, met that person and things didn’t work out?!
I have dated or ‘seen’ people that I thought could have been ‘the one’ I can say that without a doubt. But I can also truly say that I don’t believe I truly loved those people, and that I was just settling for what was comfortable and for what I felt I deserved… only to see now that I deserve more and better, and I don’t want to settle for anything less than I deserve.
I don’t want you to reply saying… ‘Oh Adrianne don’t be silly there is someone out there.’ Because I am not worried! I know if that opportunity comes it does, and hopefully it will work out and I will snatch it up… but if it doesn’t that’s ok too. I am not going to get my hopes up and all that stuff, I will just live life to its fullest and embrace what comes my way.
