sometimes...

I am torn I guess. I keep thinking. I guess sometimes an off switch on one’s brain would be a handy thing.


Sometimes I wonder if I want to actually become a teacher.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth finishing school, or if I should just go back to work.

Sometimes I wish I could just chill, and go with the flow. Now I sound like I am a hippie… I haven’t blogged in a while. I have had some issues, and didn’t feel like blogging if I was going to end up whining or complaining the whole time. No one likes to read that.

Sometimes I wish my dad was here, just to talk to or get some handy input. Yeah, now you’re like well… you’ve got an older brother… who’s basically useless to me when it comes to things like that… he’s good when I want to be yelled at or anything along those lines.

Sometimes I wish I were still at home with my mom, yes I miss my mom.She’s one of my best friends and I hate being away from her.

Sometimes I wish I had more friends (or any friends) in Red Deer, it gets lonely.

Sometimes I wish Saskatchewan didn’t exist so that Manitoba would be closer.

Sometimes I wish certain people would go away…not die… just disappear from my life.

Sometimes I feel like I am suffocating because of certain stress factors.

Sometimes I wish four years weren’t so freaken long…

But then….

I realize that I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, and just talking to him can calm me.

I realize that I want to be a teacher, and have since I was a child and that I will make one helluva good teacher.

I realize that staying in school is cool and that teaching is a better career than the alternatives.

I realize that my friends are amazing individuals who go far beyond expectations.

I realize that four-legged friends are as good as humans… and less opinionated.

I realize that it will all be worth it in the end.

I realize that everything happens for a reason.

I realize that everything could be a lot worse.

I realize that I have a lot to be thankful for and count my blessings.

I realize that, although my dad is not alive, he will always be with me…

I realize that distance doesn’t hinder a relationship but indeed makes it stronger.

I realize that those certain people add a bit of flavour and flare to life.

So the solution to the equation is to take a deep breath, count to ten, be thankful for what you have and take a step forward into the unknown. If it is meant to be, it will be. Everything will work out in the end if that is the way it is destined.