I can give you two versions of my evening. Both are completely truthful. One part is the part I tell myself, and the other part is the longer version, it's the reality and it's the part that scares the living daylights out of me (where the worrying sets in).
After a busy day running around buying last minute gifts and exchanging presents with my roommate, I was on the road to Botha. I stopped quickly in town to purchase some winning lottery tickets and a quick visit with a good friend and then home to mom.
Mom and I had one of our normal nights. I made dinner, we ate, visited, watched a movie and visited some more and opened our presents.
That’s the rosy cheerful version. Short and sweet. The part that makes me worry… The part that is glaringly obvious to me because I have been gone makes me a bit scared.
I did cook supper. But I also had to cut up my mom’s meat, because she couldn’t. We did visit, but her speech isn’t the great, she stumbles more than I remember. We watched a movie, but she slept through most, which isn’t unusual for her… she sleeps on and off all day. She wears a new brace type thing on her hand to help with the pain, that is new, and somehow slipped the daily updates. I could tell she was in more pain that usual, and she actually came out and told me she wasn’t feeling so good. She usually does her best to hide it from me. We opened our presents, or I guess I should say – I opened our presents. Mom couldn’t open hers, so I opened them for her. Then I helped her get changed and into bed, and tucked her in. I flat out asked her who helps her get ready for bed when I am not around, her reply – ‘I do it on my own,’. When I asked how long it takes her, her reply was ‘Some nights a long time, it takes a couple of tries, other nights I sleep in my clothes.’
It breaks my heart.
These would be things that I would have missed had I been living at home, because I would have seen them on a daily basis and been used to it. But I am not here often at all. I just show up for a couple days and leave. It scares me. It worries me to see her MS progressing, even if it is just tiny baby steps, those baby steps turn into baby leaps and baby bounds and that scares me.
I remember when my mom had to cut my meat for me, and when my mom had to help me get ready for bed, and when she would tuck me in, and when she would help me open my presents. I should be used to it by now; I stepped up to the plate in grade three. No one asked me to, no one told me to – I just did it because no one else was around to do it. And I have been the one doing it since in one form or another. I know she has nurses and all that stuff, but when I come home there is always so much for me to do for her. I get frustrated, I am not an only child… neither is my mother… her family is mostly all within a short drive… but nonexistent when it comes to lending a hand. I don’t hate doing what I do. She is my mother, if roles were reversed she would do the same for me, no questions asked. I hate the MS. I hate the fact that there are people that won’t help. I hate the fact that a stupid disease is slowly yet surely taking away the one parent I have left.
I know I did the right thing by going to school, she reminds me of that on a regular basis. But sometimes I wonder if there isn’t something more I could do. It hurts to know that I can’t be the one to fix things, like usual. It hurts to know that I can’t be the one to help when she needs it. Taking care of her is the one thing I know I am good at, I enjoy doing it… all because I love her. BUT I hate seeing her in that much pain… pain even her strongest pain killers won’t take away. I hate seeing her struggle to pull up or take off her own pants. I hate seeing her struggle getting from her recliner to her wheel chair or from the toilet to her wheel chair. All of these things are way out of my control, way beyond my power, and they scare me.
These things make me realize that she is only human, and she has more forces working against her than I like. I still have so much left in my life that I want her to be a part of and the reality is I am scared that she won’t be around to see it all. I know she’s tough. I know she’s strong, but how much can one person take?! She has been fighting for nearly 20 years now. The woman has been through more agony, pain, mourning and loss than anyone I know… and she keeps going. She is my energizer bunny, she is my inspiration, she gives me hope. But when I see all of this, it takes away a bit of that hope, because I know she is struggling.
And if I say something to anyone, they will say I am overreacting, because I have done it before. Some people need to be around her a little more to see what is happening. Not just a quick visit to drop something off or pick something up. Stay for a day, see what she can and can’t do anymore. Open your eyes.
So what do I do?! I help my mom, I do what I can. I promise myself I will come around more often, and I pretend all is alright. I will go to Christmas dinner tomorrow, and be civil to my family, and leave early. I will thank my mom's nurses who I can see have done fantastic work around the house trying to make things easier on mom. But that's all I can do. I can't be her sole caregiver anymore. I can't be the one to fix things. I can't be a miracle worker. I can lend a hand, I can be a friend, and I can listen and offer support when possible. That's all I can do... and I just have to remind myself of that daily.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
2010... will be a better year
I can't complain too much about 2009... There have been moments that were somewhat similar to an emotional roller coaster (stay tuned for the 2009 in review within the next couple of weeks.) The second half of 2009 kicked ass, the first half was all downhill.
I just hope that 2010 is more uphill than downhill. I know everyone needs balance, and whatever is meant to be will be. I just am hoping for more sunshiney days than rainy ones. I really hope it's possible. I hope for this not only for me, but for the people I love, the ones close to me. Because when they're sad, I am sad. When they're hurting or suffering, so do I. When they're happy, so am I. I wish only the greatest things for them, I don't want to see them go through tough times when there's nothing I can do to change that.
I worry too much, I care too much... that's a fault of mine, but it's honest.
For 2010 I have some resolutions but I swear if I don't follow them I will kick my own ass... so there are four of them. I think they're doable. As long as I keep motivated!
1) Get back in shape - I will buy a swim suit and a gym/pool pass with my first pay cheque, and I will start going to lane swim and aquasize again.... And even try out the gym!
2) Get a higher GPA - I will study more, and harder, I will have study notes from the beginning and not wait until the last week before exams to make them. I will work harder on assignments. I need to get a nerdy GPA in order to stand out from the rest of the thousands of BED students.
3)... oh shit, I've already forgotten... ohwait! Number three is to blog or write more often - I will look into freelancing for some local papers or Albertan magazines. Just to keep my writing up to par. If worst comes to worst I will just have to maintain this blog... I just need to write, it's one of my passions and I need to keep it up.
4) take a fun photography course - like my reading my photography and cameras have been neglected since quitting the paper. I need to get back into it, to revive my passion and add some excitement into my life!! I hope to be able to do that by taking some sort of photography course and just going on fun photo excursions!
Ok seriously I think that's enough writing for one night... I am headed to mom's tomorrow and not too sure if I will have internet there. IF I will, there might be a blog or two, if not - stay tuned there will be some in the near future.
I just hope that 2010 is more uphill than downhill. I know everyone needs balance, and whatever is meant to be will be. I just am hoping for more sunshiney days than rainy ones. I really hope it's possible. I hope for this not only for me, but for the people I love, the ones close to me. Because when they're sad, I am sad. When they're hurting or suffering, so do I. When they're happy, so am I. I wish only the greatest things for them, I don't want to see them go through tough times when there's nothing I can do to change that.
I worry too much, I care too much... that's a fault of mine, but it's honest.
For 2010 I have some resolutions but I swear if I don't follow them I will kick my own ass... so there are four of them. I think they're doable. As long as I keep motivated!
1) Get back in shape - I will buy a swim suit and a gym/pool pass with my first pay cheque, and I will start going to lane swim and aquasize again.... And even try out the gym!
2) Get a higher GPA - I will study more, and harder, I will have study notes from the beginning and not wait until the last week before exams to make them. I will work harder on assignments. I need to get a nerdy GPA in order to stand out from the rest of the thousands of BED students.
3)... oh shit, I've already forgotten... ohwait! Number three is to blog or write more often - I will look into freelancing for some local papers or Albertan magazines. Just to keep my writing up to par. If worst comes to worst I will just have to maintain this blog... I just need to write, it's one of my passions and I need to keep it up.
4) take a fun photography course - like my reading my photography and cameras have been neglected since quitting the paper. I need to get back into it, to revive my passion and add some excitement into my life!! I hope to be able to do that by taking some sort of photography course and just going on fun photo excursions!
Ok seriously I think that's enough writing for one night... I am headed to mom's tomorrow and not too sure if I will have internet there. IF I will, there might be a blog or two, if not - stay tuned there will be some in the near future.
Holiday Happenings take three....
Ok so I know I complain about my family a lot, and most of you think I am exaggerating... until you meet my family and you realize if anything I downplay things and underexaggerate. I love my family, yes I do, more than anything and sometimes don't highlight the amazing and helpful things they do... but it's tough sometimes when the shitty parts outweigh the good stuff. However you will never hear any negative things about my mother come out of my mouth, she's my rock, she's the one and only one that is there time after time after time... she's my stability, she's my hope, she's my guiding light, she's my mother, my father and my best friend.
Christmas dinner is at my Aunty Lynne’s house… and I have to be careful what I write, because for all I know some of my family could read this…. Right Adrianne, wishful thinking. I know SW does, but she’s on the other side of the family, and far enough removed that I can trust she won’t go tattling! Anyways Christmas dinner… at Lynne’s… and I sooo don’t want to go… for complicated reasons. BUT if I don’t go it just adds to my grandmother’s dislike of me, and will lead to more angry hurtful things said about me… but I just want to spend time with my mother. Spending time with them is stressful, they’re judgmental and hurtful. I mean, I know I am not perfect, nor are any of my cousins, but my grandmother treats me unfairly compared to the rest of them. For some reason she has it in her head that I am the bad one… if you were to compare me to my brother (which most people do, for the wrong reasons), you would see I am far from being a bad person!
Another reason I dislike the holidays, is potential drama and fights with my lovely brother. I love him, I really do, but I have given up trying to like him, trying to please him and trying to make him love me. He knows it. I have backed off, and I have paid for it. But it’s easier than the fighting. It gets ugly. Which is sad, because he’s an important part of my life. I don’t know if it bothers me or mom more… she raised us the same, and we turned out so differently. At the same time we’re so much alike, we’re stubborn and motivated and driven… but sometimes he forgets that there are others and that those other people have feelings, wants and desires. I know deep down he loves me, and that somewhere in his soul he cares… but it would be nice if he showed it once and again.
I have hardly seen my nephews since September… before then I had them at least once or twice a week… and I loved it. They’re my boys. Austin doesn’t even recognize my voice anymore and passed up spending an afternoon with me, which broke my heart a bit! They are the reason I keep the peace with my brother, because I want to be a part of their lives.
So I guess I was spared the difficulty of having to attend a Shepherd Christmas… once again no invite was passed my way. Even after Grandma has passed they’re still too self absorbed to realize that their brother had a daughter too… In 20 years I have been invited to two… maybe three of their Christmases. Not like I really expected one, I mean they won’t even talk to me about my own father, why would they invite me to a Christmas?! Ten bucks says my brother was invited… he fits in… he hunts, fishes, drinks and has the same attitude. I however took after my mom, which didn’t float well with them.
Wow this blog is all over the place, not always the most happy, I find the holidays stressful… I just want to spend time with those who are important in my life, the ones I love, the ones that love me and the ones that don’t cause drama… but sometimes a little sacrifice is needed… even if it is painful!
Christmas dinner is at my Aunty Lynne’s house… and I have to be careful what I write, because for all I know some of my family could read this…. Right Adrianne, wishful thinking. I know SW does, but she’s on the other side of the family, and far enough removed that I can trust she won’t go tattling! Anyways Christmas dinner… at Lynne’s… and I sooo don’t want to go… for complicated reasons. BUT if I don’t go it just adds to my grandmother’s dislike of me, and will lead to more angry hurtful things said about me… but I just want to spend time with my mother. Spending time with them is stressful, they’re judgmental and hurtful. I mean, I know I am not perfect, nor are any of my cousins, but my grandmother treats me unfairly compared to the rest of them. For some reason she has it in her head that I am the bad one… if you were to compare me to my brother (which most people do, for the wrong reasons), you would see I am far from being a bad person!
Another reason I dislike the holidays, is potential drama and fights with my lovely brother. I love him, I really do, but I have given up trying to like him, trying to please him and trying to make him love me. He knows it. I have backed off, and I have paid for it. But it’s easier than the fighting. It gets ugly. Which is sad, because he’s an important part of my life. I don’t know if it bothers me or mom more… she raised us the same, and we turned out so differently. At the same time we’re so much alike, we’re stubborn and motivated and driven… but sometimes he forgets that there are others and that those other people have feelings, wants and desires. I know deep down he loves me, and that somewhere in his soul he cares… but it would be nice if he showed it once and again.
I have hardly seen my nephews since September… before then I had them at least once or twice a week… and I loved it. They’re my boys. Austin doesn’t even recognize my voice anymore and passed up spending an afternoon with me, which broke my heart a bit! They are the reason I keep the peace with my brother, because I want to be a part of their lives.
So I guess I was spared the difficulty of having to attend a Shepherd Christmas… once again no invite was passed my way. Even after Grandma has passed they’re still too self absorbed to realize that their brother had a daughter too… In 20 years I have been invited to two… maybe three of their Christmases. Not like I really expected one, I mean they won’t even talk to me about my own father, why would they invite me to a Christmas?! Ten bucks says my brother was invited… he fits in… he hunts, fishes, drinks and has the same attitude. I however took after my mom, which didn’t float well with them.
Wow this blog is all over the place, not always the most happy, I find the holidays stressful… I just want to spend time with those who are important in my life, the ones I love, the ones that love me and the ones that don’t cause drama… but sometimes a little sacrifice is needed… even if it is painful!
Holiday Happenings take two....
I am glad to be home, I missed my bed and Andrea and Salem!!! We had a roommate night tonight! And tomorrow I am headed out to buy Andrea’s Christmas present!!! It’s fit for a queen, or an old lady! I joked to her younger sister (who’s in middle school) that because Andrea and I are soo old we have a strange addiction to tea so I am getting Andrea some tea and a couple of books!!
I’m only here for a night, then I am heading to my mom’s. I am in some serious need of mom time… I guess even as I get older I will still have my needy moments! The woman is my best friend, and I miss spending time with her. I had a moment of jealousy earlier. My sister in law was over with the boys, and I missed spending time with my favourite little gaffers and my mom. I hope to get to see both boys when I am home, or I might go crazy!
Thankfully exams are over, final marks are in, and unfortunately I didn’t do so hot… thanks to my darned earth science. Astronomy was the death of me, bringing my GPA down to 3.12 waaay lower than I wanted… but I guess I just have to try harder for next semester. Like way harder… That’s like a B+, seriously had I tried harder on my astro exams, I could have had a freaken A!!! Well now I will have to try harder this semester, and I have all harder courses!! But by the end of this semester I will have nearly all my mandatory classes!! No more sciences needed!!!! Thank God, I don't know how much more talk of stars, aliens, black holes and all that crap I could have taken! Then it will just be classes working towards my minor, which I haven’t declared yet. I am flip flopping between English as a Second Language, which I could do all in Red Deer or Second Languages: Spanish… which I have to transfer to Edmonton for!
I am glad the semester is over! I am happy to have a new English teacher, I am not happy with how things ended in that course, but whatever. I am sad I won’t have any classes with Cassie, Jessi or Trista… I probably won’t have any with the guys from my English ‘group’ either… which is kind of sad.
I can promise I won’t be as freaked out or stressed out for that matter when exam time comes around in April. 1) because I will be way more prepared 2) I know what to expect and 3) I know I will rock it because I am pretty darned sure I will enjoy these classes more!!!
I think the new semester will be a breath of fresh air, minus the whole trying to make new friends all over again.... argh!!! I could just be a loner... that would be easy!!!
I’m only here for a night, then I am heading to my mom’s. I am in some serious need of mom time… I guess even as I get older I will still have my needy moments! The woman is my best friend, and I miss spending time with her. I had a moment of jealousy earlier. My sister in law was over with the boys, and I missed spending time with my favourite little gaffers and my mom. I hope to get to see both boys when I am home, or I might go crazy!
Thankfully exams are over, final marks are in, and unfortunately I didn’t do so hot… thanks to my darned earth science. Astronomy was the death of me, bringing my GPA down to 3.12 waaay lower than I wanted… but I guess I just have to try harder for next semester. Like way harder… That’s like a B+, seriously had I tried harder on my astro exams, I could have had a freaken A!!! Well now I will have to try harder this semester, and I have all harder courses!! But by the end of this semester I will have nearly all my mandatory classes!! No more sciences needed!!!! Thank God, I don't know how much more talk of stars, aliens, black holes and all that crap I could have taken! Then it will just be classes working towards my minor, which I haven’t declared yet. I am flip flopping between English as a Second Language, which I could do all in Red Deer or Second Languages: Spanish… which I have to transfer to Edmonton for!
I am glad the semester is over! I am happy to have a new English teacher, I am not happy with how things ended in that course, but whatever. I am sad I won’t have any classes with Cassie, Jessi or Trista… I probably won’t have any with the guys from my English ‘group’ either… which is kind of sad.
I can promise I won’t be as freaked out or stressed out for that matter when exam time comes around in April. 1) because I will be way more prepared 2) I know what to expect and 3) I know I will rock it because I am pretty darned sure I will enjoy these classes more!!!
I think the new semester will be a breath of fresh air, minus the whole trying to make new friends all over again.... argh!!! I could just be a loner... that would be easy!!!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Holiday Happenings take one....
So I can easily say that I have had the most amazing Christmas ever, and Christmas hasn't even happened yet. Jordan bought me a plane ticket to Vancouver to meet up with him for five days, not only did I fall more in love with him (yeah, yeah... I can hear the awwwws... and the rest of you saying how 'sick' that is... well shush...!) but I also managed to fall in love with Vancouver.
Don't get me wrong, it's no Amsterdam, Paris, London or Nice... but it has a certain charm and beauty to it that is tough to describe. It's an interesting city with history... Not only does it have charm and beauty, it has a range in topography, which is quite uncommon in rural Alberta! There is the ocean and mountains all surrounding the city. Another amazing factor was the lack of snow and warm weather!!! I was quite shocked to walk of the plane and freeeeeze and see even more snow on the ground!! What a welcome back to this lovely province!!
So my five days in Vancouver were jam packed with time with the boy, friends both old and new and just relaxing. We had never spent so much time together in one time frame, so it was exciting that neither of us tried to kill the other and that we both enjoyed the time as thoroughly as we did. It was seriously the best five days I have had in a row in a long, long time.
It made me realize what I want for my future, and that the long distance relationship is extremely hard but it has reinstilled the hope that one day it will get easier and everything will fall into place. All I need is patience and belief... good thing I can have both of those IF I try hard enough!
I can't wait to go back in February, and I will not be stupid enough to forget my camera at home!! I will take mine and I will document the entire journey!!! It will be epic!!
Leaving was tough, it always is, but this time was so much more difficult. I always thought the goodbyes would get easier as I got used to the situation... but just the opposite is true. Poor Jordan, thought if he fed me liquor it would make me cry less, and in reality I bawled, and sobbed, and told him I didn’t want to leave. I don’t know how he does it. I really don’t. I tried to keep it together as long as possible, but after Andrea called saying that there was a blizzard and she couldn’t make it to the airport I lost it.
All in all, I managed to say good bye to Jordan twice, crying both times… and make it home alive. Thankfully my cousin landed around the same time as me, and offered to drive me to her dad’s for the night and then home this morning!
Jordan called when he got home, and again I cried. Damnit I remember when I didn’t cry, when it took a person’s death or something major to make me cry… now I am a giant cry baby. Seriously though, it’s tough… especially after being together for an extended period of time, only to be apart again…
Don't get me wrong, it's no Amsterdam, Paris, London or Nice... but it has a certain charm and beauty to it that is tough to describe. It's an interesting city with history... Not only does it have charm and beauty, it has a range in topography, which is quite uncommon in rural Alberta! There is the ocean and mountains all surrounding the city. Another amazing factor was the lack of snow and warm weather!!! I was quite shocked to walk of the plane and freeeeeze and see even more snow on the ground!! What a welcome back to this lovely province!!
So my five days in Vancouver were jam packed with time with the boy, friends both old and new and just relaxing. We had never spent so much time together in one time frame, so it was exciting that neither of us tried to kill the other and that we both enjoyed the time as thoroughly as we did. It was seriously the best five days I have had in a row in a long, long time.
It made me realize what I want for my future, and that the long distance relationship is extremely hard but it has reinstilled the hope that one day it will get easier and everything will fall into place. All I need is patience and belief... good thing I can have both of those IF I try hard enough!
I can't wait to go back in February, and I will not be stupid enough to forget my camera at home!! I will take mine and I will document the entire journey!!! It will be epic!!
Leaving was tough, it always is, but this time was so much more difficult. I always thought the goodbyes would get easier as I got used to the situation... but just the opposite is true. Poor Jordan, thought if he fed me liquor it would make me cry less, and in reality I bawled, and sobbed, and told him I didn’t want to leave. I don’t know how he does it. I really don’t. I tried to keep it together as long as possible, but after Andrea called saying that there was a blizzard and she couldn’t make it to the airport I lost it.
All in all, I managed to say good bye to Jordan twice, crying both times… and make it home alive. Thankfully my cousin landed around the same time as me, and offered to drive me to her dad’s for the night and then home this morning!
Jordan called when he got home, and again I cried. Damnit I remember when I didn’t cry, when it took a person’s death or something major to make me cry… now I am a giant cry baby. Seriously though, it’s tough… especially after being together for an extended period of time, only to be apart again…
Sunday, December 13, 2009
so the stress got to me... makes me human right??
Stress can bring out the best as well as the worst in a person, trust me, I know. This past week has been one from hell, and I still have four more days to go. I have realized that my moods surely affect those around me, or those I talk to. And I don't mean for that, it just happens. I have been very stressed out, and quite bitchy, without meaning for it to happen.
Exam mode took over and ruined me. Good news, now that my exams are closer, I am not as stressed, and I am trying to think positive... strange hey?! I have four exams this week. Monday is French at 9am. Tuesday is Spanish at 9 am. Wednesday is Astrology at 7 pm. and Thursday is Sociology at 2 pm.
So even when I walked into the library today I was a bit frazzled... not as bad as I was yesterday or even when I woke up this morning... and now I feel a lot calmer and ready to try and kick some ass on my tests.
I am extremely grateful for those who have had to put up with my moodswings and stressed-self during exams. I have been distant so thankfully there are only a select few who have had to deal with the wrath of Adrianne... put still it hasn't been pleasant for them, so again I apologize from the bottom of my heart and thank you again for not kicking me to the curb... cause I am sure if I could have... I would have kicked myself.
THEN I fly to Vancouver to be with the love of my life! We get to spend five nights together, which will be the longest duration since we've been a couple!!! SO very exciting! I also get to meet his sister and quite possibly his grandparents! While in Vancouver I am also getting my hair cut by one of my old roommates from the Tuscany house, Savannah!!!! That is very exciting, I haven't seen her since she moved to Vancouver like nearly three years ago!!!
After studying a full day of French, I can say that I am confident in translating verbs in the present tense, passe compose, passe recent, imparfait, impertif, plus que parfait and future proche. I have come to the realization I am not going to do stellar this semester, but that just makes me want to try harder for next semester, all semester long, not just the final month!
Next semester I have a full schedule with Spanish 102, English 220, Higher Arithmatic - Math 260, The Profession of Teaching 250, and Intro to Education Psychology 200.
I'm cutting this short, because I need to get myself home, have a hot bath, wash my hair, and SLEEP. I have to get ready for my test.
Tomorrow's plans - Test 9-12. Study Spanish 1-4. Study Sociology 5-9.
Tuesday - Spanish test 9-12. Supervision 12-12:45. Reading 12:45-1:15. Study Sociology 2-4. Study Astro 5-9.
Wednesday - Study Sociology 10-12. Study Astro 1-5. Write Astro test 7pm. PACK FOR VANCOUVER!!!
Thursday - 10-12 study Sociology. 12-1245- Supervision. 12:45-1:15 reading with Harrison (last day :( ) Write Sociology test at 2. THEN LEAAAAAAAAVE FOR VANCOUVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Exam mode took over and ruined me. Good news, now that my exams are closer, I am not as stressed, and I am trying to think positive... strange hey?! I have four exams this week. Monday is French at 9am. Tuesday is Spanish at 9 am. Wednesday is Astrology at 7 pm. and Thursday is Sociology at 2 pm.
So even when I walked into the library today I was a bit frazzled... not as bad as I was yesterday or even when I woke up this morning... and now I feel a lot calmer and ready to try and kick some ass on my tests.
I am extremely grateful for those who have had to put up with my moodswings and stressed-self during exams. I have been distant so thankfully there are only a select few who have had to deal with the wrath of Adrianne... put still it hasn't been pleasant for them, so again I apologize from the bottom of my heart and thank you again for not kicking me to the curb... cause I am sure if I could have... I would have kicked myself.
THEN I fly to Vancouver to be with the love of my life! We get to spend five nights together, which will be the longest duration since we've been a couple!!! SO very exciting! I also get to meet his sister and quite possibly his grandparents! While in Vancouver I am also getting my hair cut by one of my old roommates from the Tuscany house, Savannah!!!! That is very exciting, I haven't seen her since she moved to Vancouver like nearly three years ago!!!
After studying a full day of French, I can say that I am confident in translating verbs in the present tense, passe compose, passe recent, imparfait, impertif, plus que parfait and future proche. I have come to the realization I am not going to do stellar this semester, but that just makes me want to try harder for next semester, all semester long, not just the final month!
Next semester I have a full schedule with Spanish 102, English 220, Higher Arithmatic - Math 260, The Profession of Teaching 250, and Intro to Education Psychology 200.
I'm cutting this short, because I need to get myself home, have a hot bath, wash my hair, and SLEEP. I have to get ready for my test.
Tomorrow's plans - Test 9-12. Study Spanish 1-4. Study Sociology 5-9.
Tuesday - Spanish test 9-12. Supervision 12-12:45. Reading 12:45-1:15. Study Sociology 2-4. Study Astro 5-9.
Wednesday - Study Sociology 10-12. Study Astro 1-5. Write Astro test 7pm. PACK FOR VANCOUVER!!!
Thursday - 10-12 study Sociology. 12-1245- Supervision. 12:45-1:15 reading with Harrison (last day :( ) Write Sociology test at 2. THEN LEAAAAAAAAVE FOR VANCOUVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
braceface and oompalooma...
So I thought I was a nerd, and have had countless people tell me that I am a nerd, but man-oh-man the two girls sitting across from me in the library are beyond my level of nerdiness. They take nerd-dome to a whole new level I never knew existed.
The one on my left looks like a version of Ugly Betty – frizzy frizzy brown hair, glasses too big for her face (that coincidentally match her hair), braces and acne from hell. The other one also has glasses too big for her face, and just resonates NERD.
The one just changed her facebook status to ... is getting an oompa loompa (she doesn’t know she kind of resembles one).
They’re having a comment war on facebook... how cute... they’re sitting next to each other... GROSS. AND now they’re competing to find the cutest winter joke... they laughed so hard at the one about kicking a snowman in his snowballs... oooh CUTE... oooh and to top it off they're on facebook chat with eachother... and braceface rolls over to oompaloompa's computer to watch her read the messages... ooooh junior high all over again!!!!
I am in a decent mood, not sure where this random outburst came from, most likely because I realized, I am nowhere near as nerdy as I once though, my grades from half of my classes will prove that...
Ok... back to my annotated bibliography now...
The one on my left looks like a version of Ugly Betty – frizzy frizzy brown hair, glasses too big for her face (that coincidentally match her hair), braces and acne from hell. The other one also has glasses too big for her face, and just resonates NERD.
The one just changed her facebook status to ... is getting an oompa loompa (she doesn’t know she kind of resembles one).
They’re having a comment war on facebook... how cute... they’re sitting next to each other... GROSS. AND now they’re competing to find the cutest winter joke... they laughed so hard at the one about kicking a snowman in his snowballs... oooh CUTE... oooh and to top it off they're on facebook chat with eachother... and braceface rolls over to oompaloompa's computer to watch her read the messages... ooooh junior high all over again!!!!
I am in a decent mood, not sure where this random outburst came from, most likely because I realized, I am nowhere near as nerdy as I once though, my grades from half of my classes will prove that...
Ok... back to my annotated bibliography now...
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