I am in a blah mood. I knew this was coming, and I am stuck. I toyed with the idea of going to a movie today after talking about a bunch of the new ones at work last night. I had it between two movies, one which Jordan wants to see too, so scratched that and the other is a sappy love movie and if I were to go today that wouldn't make my mood any better, but worse.
So here I sit, on the couch in my pyjamas with lots to do but nothing I want to do. I need to feel motivated, or inspired... hahah. This post is in contradiction with the last bunch I have written. I'm just having an off day, and have no one to talk to it with because they're all at work or busy... and I can't trouble my mom she's not doing great herself right now and my problems won't help her out... but make her worry about things she can't help with.
How sad is it that sometimes I just want to forget about my own mother?! That way I don't worry about her. I don't actually want to forget about her. That sounds awfully cold. But I just wish that someone else would worry about her too... or be concerned... So I check in on a daily basis with her, but in between I try to pretend everything is all okay. Knowing fully well it isn't, no matter how hard she tries to lie about it. In my eyes the woman has a year, maybe two left on her own. And I know exactly who will be the one going home to pack her, move her and clean her house when that time comes.
I wish my homework would do its self, same with the laundry and baking .... and that Monday were here. At least with school I get to see people and be busy and all that stuff.
So here I go, I will take out a bunch of bananas for baking and go get my text books. I have to write my great teachers paper, why I want to be a teacher assignment, study for Spanish, Spanish homework, study for EDPY EDUC and math... and maybe scrapbook in there too.
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Sometimes you just need to kick your own ass and do stuff whether or not you want to :(
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